Costa Rica

I felt undeservingly spoiled last week. New car and trip to Costa Rica all paid by my mother.

Itinerary
Sunday (7.17) - Shop
Monday (7.18) - Monte Verde: butterfly tour, coffee tour and zip lining
Tuesday (7.19) - Beach tour to Conchal, Flamingo, and Tamarindo
Wednesday (7.20) - Arenal volcano: active volcano where I enjoyed the natural hot springs
Thursday (7.21) - Spa and massage
Friday (7.22) - White water rafting

I felt very rich. Not in a cool way. In an embarrassing, somewhat ashamed way. During the coffee tour the guide explained the process of producing coffee, including the picking process and how much they make. Coffee pickers comb the plants, carrying a 10 kg basket around their back. They are paid by the basket, and if a picker is fast, they can fill a basket in one hour. Wage? $1. That means on a good day, if someone works eight hours, they are paid $8 a day doing physical, back straining work. 40 hours a week, 52 weeks is $2,080 a year.

I've heard these statistics before. I've heard sermons, read Christian books telling me I'm rich and I should be thankful. But I don't know if I ever believed that in America. Certainly not in the America I saw with Berkeley students. Even the "poor" students in Berkeley are far from poor. I complain that I'm poor because I'm supporting myself and the job situation has been tough. But I have a fridge full of food, a full closet, a new car, parents who support me, etc, etc.

The service is really good in Costa Rica. I stayed at the Hilton where the employees accommodated your every whim. It made me want to stare at the floor. Don't get me wrong, I had an AMAZING time but it was a humbling experience.

Heartbreak.

New changes are here. After five years of attending EBCB, I've decided to leave. It's been a three year long process and I'm not going into details because that's not wise on a blog. All I can say is it is a heartbreaking decision, but a God fearing one.

I love this church and can rave about the blessings I've experienced in it - the equipping, service, fellowship are really EXTRAordinary. But in the end, I believe there can be gospel-centered, biblical, God glorifying churches that aren't for everyone.

I'm sad and reluctant to know relationships will change. Deathly afraid of having to make new ones because all the good ones take years to develop. But it's a good time to learn to trust and depend on the Lord. I'll try to update this blog more often to keep people in on the loop :)

To those who have been a part of this journey, thank you, thank you, thank you, and please don't be a stranger.

Hands and Ears

The bible gives us principles on how we should live our lives but it looks different in every Christian because they have unique gifts, personalities, preferences, convictions. I've been thinking about diversity lately. Not just superficial differences - like personality, appearance, hobbies, but theological, spiritual differences. Is there benefit to having spiritual diversity? In gifts, yes, in different emphasis of spiritual principles, yes. In spiritual convictions? Well it depends on what they are.

Every believer is going to have particular passages really speak to them. But part of wisdom is understanding the balance between two commandments - not going to extremes and knowing they don't conflict. One part of the bible says don't associate with unbelievers, what does darkness have to do with light? Another part of the bible illustrates that Jesus was very intimate with tax collectors and sinners. People who understand and emphasize one of these would benefit from the other because both are commanded and necessary.

Diversity in spiritual convictions is good because we have the tendency to focus on certain aspects and commandments that speak to us, that we relate to. But hearing brothers and sisters that emphasize other principles will make us more balanced Christians. One person may focus (be gifted in) equipping and serving the body. Another may focus on evangelism and mercy ministries. We ought to listen well before we tell the other our time is best spent doing ___.

God uses diversity. Maybe you're the hand and I'm the foot... Actually, I hate feet. You're the hand and I'm the ear. I don't think it's going against being like-minded if it's in the word. As long as we seek our convictions and are like-minded in the bible and the gospel.

May 12, 2010

A LOT going through my mind lately. Most of them are too personal to post on a blog and I hate being vague so I'll refrain. Instead, I'll give an update about what I've been up to :)

Fellowship - I've taken more initiative to meet with people. I was a manic in college. Five to six set meetings a week on top of other scheduled one-on-ones. But when I graduated and moved to Alameda I took a step back in this area. A lot of my close friends moved and the college people I knew were now a 20-30 minute drive away. I really am horrible at keeping in touch. My mom gives me a pout whenever I'm home, and I still don't call her that often. Plus, I'm good at complaining because "I'm always the initiator and if they want to keep in touch they should initiate." That's not what love looks like though. So tweeking that perception and taking initiative has been bueno. Fellowship is so good.

Hobbies - I want to learn how to crochet. I know a little about knitting but I never crocheted until I went down to LA a few weeks ago. A girl from Cornerstone was making headbands for a missions fundraiser. I asked her to teach me and an hour later I gave life to my first creation -



The ones Jess made were beautiful. Mine is too big and awkward as a necklace. But not bad for a first go. Still trying to figure out what I want to do with this though. It may end up in the trash :X (Other hobbies on the list: guitar, dancing, reading)

The hunt - Well it hasn't been much of a hunt because I haven't been motivated to apply. :( Looking into marketing and pr, but I really think I would like merchandising. Not 100% sure what I want to do. I just want to talk to a lot of people and honestly ask them "Hey, really, do you like your job?"

I'm taking suggestions. What do you think I should look for and go into?

Nostalgia

My Mom sold the home I grew up in yesterday. From now on I'll be in west LA rather than Glendale when I'm in so cal.

Some things I dug up in the garage -


I was really into anime. I must have drawn these when I was 15 or 16.




One part of my life is coming to an end, but I have a feeling that exciting new changes are coming up :)

Way too much to write about all I've been experiencing and learning in so cal. It's been awesome to reconnect with old friends. Encouraged at the diversity of Christianity.

No more red and khaki

That's right. I now see in color. Top 3 reasons Target is not for me:

1.) I've been missing out on a lot because I work random hours.

- I haven't been able to attend a lot of members meeting, home group and other fellowship activities. Weddings are coming up and I'd hate to miss out on those as well for a job I utterly despise.

2.) Long commute

- The 580 is going under construction which means an even longer commute than the one hour I already drive going one way. $350 a month for gas and toll when my rent is $425? No thank you.

3.) Not where I want to go in my career.

Yay for free time and job hunting! This year has been an anomaly in terms of meeting up with people. I used to do 5-6 people a week on a consistent basis, and people outside of those times as well. I think it's partially because a lot of my close friends moved away. But! Now that I have more time I'm excited to really engage in people's lives again. Very very happy about the decision. Who wants to play with me?

Musings at Fertile Grounds with a coffee and strawberry scone

Day off today. Weekdays and weekends blur together because I have random days off. Drove Michelle Maa to get her wedding dress altered then went to Cheeseboard for lunch. I heart Berkeley. It's a city that believes things. I don't agree with everything it believes but people have opinions. These hippie, recycling, social movement people are passionate and it's refreshing. Too many people just live, they have the "road to success" mentality, which is boring. Passion is captivating, but blind passion is stupid.

I've been realizing that I believe a lot of lies. The world tells you lies because it's circumstantial and emotional. It bases its truth on senses and feelings. Dangerous because I'm an emotional person. Not in the I-cry-every-day and am super sensitive way. I'm emotional because I let feelings guide my actions and attitude. I can't trust emotions because they are a fickle, impulsive reaction to circumstance. It's not something that should guide my life.

So I've been thinking about what it means to be sober minded and self controlled. Being self-controlled is really counterintuitive to me because I'm the "be real, say what's on your mind" type of person. I let my thoughts run amuck, but my thoughts are depraved. I'm prone to be prideful, discontent and self-reliant.

Tasted some victory this week though. It's possible. Victory over sin is possible because we've been freed. More conscious of thoughts that are helpful and thoughts that are not God glorifying. Unhelpful thoughts: It's already been 4.5 months of not getting promoted when I expected one in three... "so unfair, I deserve more... blah blah blah."

Don't get me wrong, today's application day. But I want need to be thankful and faithful while I'm in this situation. I'm happier when I'm obedient. You would think doing what is in your will would make you happy because you're doing what you want. But I realize more and more I have no clue what makes me happy. Sometimes I think money and prestige and the flashy things of life will make me happy. It doesn't. Being obedient and on my knees does. Dependence on the only thing that is eternal and faithful.