Day off today. Weekdays and weekends blur together because I have random days off. Drove Michelle Maa to get her wedding dress altered then went to Cheeseboard for lunch. I heart Berkeley. It's a city that believes things. I don't agree with everything it believes but people have opinions. These hippie, recycling, social movement people are passionate and it's refreshing. Too many people just live, they have the "road to success" mentality, which is boring. Passion is captivating, but blind passion is stupid.
I've been realizing that I believe a lot of lies. The world tells you lies because it's circumstantial and emotional. It bases its truth on senses and feelings. Dangerous because I'm an emotional person. Not in the I-cry-every-day and am super sensitive way. I'm emotional because I let feelings guide my actions and attitude. I can't trust emotions because they are a fickle, impulsive reaction to circumstance. It's not something that should guide my life.
So I've been thinking about what it means to be sober minded and self controlled. Being self-controlled is really counterintuitive to me because I'm the "be real, say what's on your mind" type of person. I let my thoughts run amuck, but my thoughts are depraved. I'm prone to be prideful, discontent and self-reliant.
Tasted some victory this week though. It's possible. Victory over sin is possible because we've been freed. More conscious of thoughts that are helpful and thoughts that are not God glorifying. Unhelpful thoughts: It's already been 4.5 months of not getting promoted when I expected one in three... "so unfair, I deserve more... blah blah blah."
Don't get me wrong, today's application day. But I want need to be thankful and faithful while I'm in this situation. I'm happier when I'm obedient. You would think doing what is in your will would make you happy because you're doing what you want. But I realize more and more I have no clue what makes me happy. Sometimes I think money and prestige and the flashy things of life will make me happy. It doesn't. Being obedient and on my knees does. Dependence on the only thing that is eternal and faithful.
Thanks Cass. This was well-timed.
ReplyDeleteI flipped out last week over certain things... gonna update soon.
"I'm happier when I'm obedient. You would think doing what is in your will would make you happy because you're doing what you want. But I realize more and more I have no clue what makes me happy. Sometimes I think money and prestige and the flashy things of life will make me happy. It doesn't. Being obedient and on my knees does. Dependence on the only thing that is eternal and faithful."
ReplyDelete^ Very true, I was just thinking/saying the same thing today. I like your thoughts/blog ... not to build up your ego or anything : ).
<3
cass this post was really encouraging - much needed and so refreshing for my own life. :). Keep on!!!!
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