Let's give this a shot...

Finally decided to create one - partly because I want to learn how to use social media, partly because it could be a good way to keep in touch. So let's give this a shot :) Hopefully, I don't embarrass myself in the process, although it's a very likely outcome.

One thing I intend to do with this - to be honest and uninhibited. Don't know if that's the most proper and appropriate choice. Perhaps I should censor myself more, give up some freedom for the sake of others who may read this. But I don't know... I've always had this crazy obsession with honesty and people who just say it like it is. I guess it's because I feel like I have nothing to hide. So let's be honest - when it comes down to it, I'm a downright despicable, crazy sinner! Yes, my thoughts and motives are all wrong and twisted most of the time.

But I feel like presenting ourselves in a different way can be deceptive. Deceptive to ourselves and others and I'm always left wondering why we do this. Personally, when I'm less specific, when I try to present myself better, I do it out of fear of man. I want people to think well of me so I'll be vague. Vague about hardships, vague about my sin. And I'm very good at making myself sound holier by using spiritual language too. It's a shame because it makes me less honest with my depravity, less honest in front of God, and less honest in front of people. So my inhibition is often a counter to this.

I've also experienced the most encouragement and sharpening when I let my guard down, let myself be vulnerable and just say how I feel. Not because what I say is right but because I can see my folly more clearly. Reminds me of Psalms - David doesn't just express what is true and what he should think, he's actually really emotional. If he feels discouraged, abandoned, like the Lord is far away, he says so. BUT, he always brings it back to how he should think and what he knows is true - that God if faithful and His promises are true. So I guess it's similar to what I try to do - to say things as they are. Even if I know better, it's not how I'm thinking at this time because there's a gap in what I know and what I believe at the moment. Besides, I'mblessed to go to a church that equips it's members and I'm taught well. So what I struggle with often is not a lack of knowledge but a lack of conviction. So when I confront things in it's raw, uncensored form, I'm better able to see it clearly and counter it. To bring it back to what's true and what the word says. Honesty makes me diagnose more accurately to really show that I need to depend on the Lord.

So I intend for this blog to just present me as I am, with all the blemishes, spelling errors and twisted thinking. Random thoughts on everything that goes through my head whether it's eternal things, worldly things, etc. Hopefully, hopefully, I'll have wisdom though too. Gosh, there's so many verses in Proverbs about guarding our speech and mouth. So that is a serious warning. But I hope people can be refreshed and encouraged by the candidness too. If you think you're sinful you can read my blog and feel better that you are not alone. :D