SPAM

I'm contemplating ending my relationship with SPAM. If you've lived with me or known me for any length of time you know I can't deny any form of meat. I've loved spam most of my life. You can store it forever, it complements so many dishes, and it's just plain tasty.

Last year, I made kimchi fried rice with spam. I knew it was in the fridge for at least a few weeks, but I don't like wasting food, and how can you waste meat? It had a slimy film over it, but I reasoned that it was a dried form of the preservative goo you see when you first take it out of the can. Plus, I have a super strong stomach. To be honest, it was probably in the fridge for at least a month. Needless to say, I got food poisoning and threw up for two days. I felt like dying, but I continued to stay with spam anyway because I rationalized that it was my fault.

I recently got a musubi maker and was excited to try it out. But when I opened the can I saw something stringy and black on my beloved. As I took a closer look I saw that it was hair. It wasn't just one, thin, strand of hair. It was a cluster of thick, black hair. Not just one cluster, two. TWO CLUSTERS OF THE UGLIEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I screamed for Kathy to come over. She gagged and told me she wanted to throw up.

Traumatizing. I know spam is made of gross stuff, but I keep telling myself this is another exception. I honestly can't imagine my life without it. Devastating.

I actually made the musubi anyways. In my defense, I cut out the quarter of meat that was near the hair. The musubi is right next to me as I write this and I'm contemplating if I should eat it. I wonder if too much has passed... thinking of eating it makes me want to gag, but I'm still clinging on... I'll let you know if I eat it.

Proof -




By the way, I encourage you to click the enlarged picture to get the full effect.